Based on the numerous articles flooding the web, usually offering around 5 to 37 factoids paired with entertaining GIFs focusing on the subject of marriage and relationships, I considered myself fairly well versed on the subject as I prepared to marry my best friend this June. However, after a month of marriage I feel that there are some Marriage Myths that need busted.
#1. Myth: Honeymoons are Necessities.
Through observation of many couples tying the knot recently, myself included, the trend of being “honey-marooned” seems rather popular. Whether it is for financial, family, or a myriad of other reasons, staying close by during the first weeks of marriage isn’t as lame as society would lead you to believe. Staying close to home doesn’t mean you just jump right into the harshness of real life without having any fun. In fact, we believe our experience helped us to appreciate the art of holding onto the beauty and newness of marriage, without the aid of a flashy tropical resort to keep things exciting. In those first few days, being together is all that matters and honestly you don’t really care where you are as long as they are with you. In our first week of marriage we discovered that the beauty and adventure of being newlyweds was found in how we learned and grew with each other as partners, not in pillow mints and snorkeling.
#2. Myth: Blessed are the Married for Theirs is the Kingdom of Perfection.
People will talk about the incredible act of worship and closeness to God that occurs when man and wife become one. This is totally true and off the charts awesome, however, it leads you to believe that by being married you have reached a new height spiritually. NOPE. It is just as hard to make time for God and stay focused as it was before, if not even more so now that there are so many fun and new distractions. It takes dedication to make your marriage about Christ first and each other second. Realizing this myth is busted can help you later on when about two weeks in you realize your special love bug isn’t always perfect. Whether it is wet towels on the floor or a grumpy morning attitude, your new spouse will disappoint you eventually. Of course you still love them, this is their way of showing you that God is the only one who never disappoints.
#3. Myth: Balancing the Housework Makes the House Work.
Personally, we found this one to be a no-brainer. It really isn’t about splitting the chores down the middle like the last crescent roll. If you approach the house work with an attitude of service then it shouldn’t matter who washes more dishes that week. If you are keeping score then you have already lost the game. Trying to maintain a perfect balance will make you crazy. Things happen in life that throw even the most cleverly designed systems off and you know what? Life goes on! Grace is the key ingredient here. When both parties are focused on doing their best to love and care for each other, it doesn’t matter who folded the laundry. Added Bonus: If you have time, doing things together is more fun anyway! Who says you have to do the chores alone.
#4. Myth: Newly Married People Have No Time for Anyone.
This one is so false it hurts. People are always making comments like, “I don’t want to bug you, I’ll let you get back to being a newlywed”. While the intentions may be honorable, I think everyone needs to realize that just because you get married it doesn’t change you into an exclusive, two-person club with Masonic-level secrecy. The truth is, newly married people miss their friends and family! We WANT to talk and hear about your life. Chances are the past four weeks of theirs lives have been consumed with crafting and color matching and they are jonesing for human interaction that doesn’t revolve around tulle and Jordan almonds. So please, invite us out, call us up, or send us a text. We may have each other but we still need you.
#5. Myth: Marriage = ZERO FUN TIMES.
This one is just nonsense. To the person who coined the phrase “Ball and Chain”…just stop. Marriage is as fun as you make it. You can either let the day to day struggle of real life suck all the creativity and joy out of you like cornbread, or you can simply not. I vote for the second option. Making marriage fun is an art, but like, on the finger painting level. Everyone can do it if they are willing. Learning new skills together can do wonders for bonding and keeping things interesting. In our first month we have been practicing soccer skills, learning new recipes, and initiating board game nights. We also just recently purchased some pretty intense Nerf guns so, I don’t think we will be feeling the ennui anytime soon.
Granted, this is only our first month of marriage and so far we have had it pretty easy. We both realize that we have much to learn in this wacky process of smooshing two lives together and making it work. There are good and bad days, and we have our share of disagreements, but we both agree that nothing is better than getting to have a never-ending sleepover with your favorite person.